Dear Husband,
It has recently come to my attention that you do not want to paint the baby's nursery. In your opinion a muddy yellow color is perfectly acceptable. For the sake of our sanity (yes, your sanity will be determined by mine) please refrain from giving your opinion (unless specifically asked as described in the next paragraph) for the next 6 months.
Also, please feign at least a mild interest in the color that the nursery will be painted. I know it's hard to differentiate between "vanilla" and "cream" but trust me there is a difference and, even if you do so with your eyes closed, by simply pointing to one or the other you will make me feel like you have played a very important role in the life of our unborn child.
So, for pete's sake, please act excited about something...anything...I, and pete, would appreciate it.
Love,
Your Wife
P.S. Telling your pregnant wife that she can pull off "cute" sometimes is highly unacceptable and could result in very serious consequences for you.
P.S.S. Telling your pregnant wife just because she's pregnant does not mean we need to put a "Wide Load" sign on the car is beyond highly unaccepetable and will result in the aforementioned pregnant wife driving you to the men's homeless shelter and leaving you there.
P.S.S.S. Allowing the house to be the after-hours party house while your wife (pregnant or not) sleeps upstairs is also highly unacceptable. This should go without saying...but apparently it does not.
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