Love

Something that JoJo does that I don't ever want to forget:  After she finishes her bottle she flips herself onto her belly and scrambles up to my shoulder, putting her head down and promptly falling asleep.  She makes me feel so needed and comfortable.  It breaks my heart to think that she won't do this for the rest of our lives.  A fifty year old woman falling asleep on her 82 year old mother's shoulder would seem a little odd, I suppose.

Today Is A Good Day

My day started at 4:30 in the morning when Jo woke up and for over an hour fought going back to sleep.  As I listened to her cry I could also hear the neighbors dog barking over and over and over again.  I wasn't sure which was more annoying but I briefly considered taking Jo over for a little "Which is more annoying" competition.  Eventually, once it hit 6:00 Marcus decided to go to work.

I think I fell back asleep but that was short lived as Alex woke up at 6:30 in her usual cheerful mood *sarcasm* and wondering why, for the millionth time in a row, her Dadda was not there.  I'm not sure why this surprises her every morning but it does.  In a move straight out of the Lazy Parenting handbook I broke out the Tablet and let her watch "Dora..." on continuous loop until I felt mildly human.  I then checked on Jo who had apparently worn herself out to the brink of exhaustion and was still snoozing peacefully.  Must be nice.

After checking on Jo I put the kibosh on "Dora..." only to discover that my lazy parenting skills had come back to bite me in the ass and Alex's diaper had leaked.  Now I had to change our sheets and mattress pad and get Alex cleaned up which totally ruined the game I play every day which is called "How long can I keep the girls in PJs before it gets ridiculous?"  After all of this Jo was awake and apparently she also conspired against me as her diaper had leaked as well.  So, I got Jo out of her crib, changed her, stripped her bed, and fed her which she promptly spit back up all over my outfit.  Eh, who am I kidding?  My "outfit" was actually my PJs and so Jo ruined my other game which is called "How long can I stay in PJs before it gets ridiculous?"  (Hint: It's only ridiculous if someone other than your children sees you in the PJs). 

As I was taking care of Jo, Alex humped her way across the floor and back again.  That's a new thing that we're not really sure how to address so for now I'm just going to ignore it.  Now, it's 11:00 and Jo is playing peacefully with the tag of a toy and Alex has passed out on the floor from too much humping.  I just smelled something suspicious and Jo is grinning at me and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like what I find when I pick her up.  Yet somehow, despite all of this, I feel rather at peace today.  Today is a good day.

Jo Is Six Months!

Josephine is 6 months old today.  My heart hurts saying that because it's gone by so fast and I know that the rest of my time with her will go just as fast.  She's the most delightful, happy baby and it's my belief she's going to be a handful once she is mobile.  She rolls everywhere and grabs everything with this mischievous look in her eye.  In fact, as I write this she has just ripped the band aid off her leg (6 month shots this morning) and is eating it.  Excuse me for a second...Most recently she's been up on her hands and knees then pushes off with her feet, throwing herself at her intended target.  I think Mimi was correct when she predicted Jo would be crawling two weeks from Easter Sunday.  Just a few more days and she'll be on the move, I'm sure.  Some things Jo does at 6 months that I want to write down for memory sake are:

1. She pants when she gets excited.  I love it.
2. She has rolls for miles.
3. Speaking of rolls, and as I mentioned before, she rolls to where she wants to go.  I put her down, walk away and next thing I know she's half way across the floor.
4. She screams and squeals like nothing I've ever heard.  It must be so that we remember she's around, though how could we forget?
5. Some of her nicknames are "Chubby Wubby," "Snooky Bottom," "Chub Chub," "Stinker Winker," "Pretty Girl/Baby," and "Chubby Cheekers" (get it?).
6. She loves watching Alex and laughs at everything she does whether it's dancing or just paying her some attention.
7. She has great control of her binkie and will either play with it or put it directly into her mouth...except of course in the middle of the night when she's crying and that's the only thing she wants.  Although, as of when I started writing this, I've since weaned her off the binkie.  She was growing too reliant and it was time to stop.  I guarantee you this was harder on us than it was on her.
8. Speaking of night time she almost sleeps through the night.  Last night she slept a magical 11 hours.  Typically it's 6 hours.
9. Her stats are as follows:  18 pounds 4 ounces and 27 inches long!  She will be Alex's size in no time.
10. She eats baby cereal and today we start carrots!  This little chunket is going to get even chunkier. 

She can also sit up on her own!

I'll Be A Copycat

There's a new Tumblr account taking the Internet by storm and it's all about why the user's son is crying.  In homage to that Tumblr I'd like to write down why Alexandra cried today:

1. She woke up.
2. Daddy wasn't here.
3. I'm not Daddy.
4. I didn't procure her milk fast enough.
5. I made her sit on the couch while drinking her milk.
6. I stopped her from crushing her sister with the rocking horse.
7. I don't know.
8. I don't know.
9. I don't know.
10. She's hungry and the 5 seconds it takes me to get her a snack is 4 seconds too long.
11. Her toy isn't working the way she wants it to due to user error.
12. From 5:00 on it's all because her Daddy is home who appears to be the light of her life yet the bane of her existence all at the same time.

Oh, yeah.  13. Because she wants to play with the very expensive camera and we won't let her.

Alex Fall Down

Please tell me I'm not the only one constantly body-checking her child into the wall, a piece of furniture, the floor...pretty much everything.  I mean, as it is Alex walks into walls or furniture on her own often enough so it's not entirely my fault.  Plus she weighs all of 25 pounds so one good bounce off my post pregnancy leg and she's air born.  Part of the problem is that this tends to happen when I'm carrying Jo and, God love her, can't see around her fat butt so then Alex gets underfoot and all hell breaks loose.

Today I was walking out of Jo's room carrying her in my arms and Alex was right at my feet as usual.  I'm not entirely sure how it happened but the next thing I know she's walked into my leg, bounced off it and gone face first into a sub woofer on the floor.  I immediately put Jo down and grab Alex only to be confronted with a bloody mouth and scraped chin and rather accusatory crying eyes.  While I feel terrible that I hurt her I can't help but wonder how many face plants have to be executed before she learns to stay at least a foot away from me when walking.  Let's just hope until she does learn to keep as far away as possible that the extent of her injuries can be fixed with a band aid and not a trip to the hospital.

Questions

Couple of questions for you:

Exactly how did that baby get in the tree top?

What kind of sh*t were they smoking when they wrote the cow jumped over the moon?  And can I have some?

Do all spiders exhibit such tenacity as the "Itsy Bitsy Spider?"

Can we all agree that George is less "curious" and more a giant pain in the ass?

Why do Dora and her little friend Boots insist on yelling everything they say?  It's like watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" but for toddlers and considerably less funny.

Does anyone else find it just a little disturbing that one of the little piggies is eating roast beef?  Granted, it's not pork but still...

I'm just as confused as you are JoJo.

The S Word

I'd like to preface the following with two things.  1. I tend to get frustrated quickly and easily and, 2. I tend to have the mouth of a sailor.  Therefore, the fact that it was I who taught Alex her first curse word should come as no surprise.

Marcus had been on travel for the previous 24 hours leading up to the event and Jo had been having one of her more miserable days in recent memory.  It seemed like she had cried all day long and by 8:00 at night my patience with her was wearing thin.  While Jo was busy being miserable Alex was due to be in bed and all of a sudden the day came crashing down on me.  While MANY words went flying through my head it was one that made it past my lips.  "SSHHHHIIITTTT!!!" I screamed.  The release of that one curse word immediately made me feel better but then I heard it.  Alex's tiny voice repeating after me.  "Shit!  Shit!"  Oh, f***.

Airing of Greivances

1. Windows 8.  What the fuckity fuck?
2. Any news reports, be they written or oral, that include Facebook comments as part of the "news."  First of all, talk about lazy reporting.  Secondly, I don't care what anyone's opinion of anything is.  Just give me the news.
3. Traveling from NC to VA and back again.  I hate NC.
4. Whenever technology doesn't work to the best of it's ability.
5. Since when has Easter become a second Christmas?  Why are people giving their children giant gifts at Easter?  It's bizarre and indicative of how materialistic our culture is.
6.  Not having batteries in the house and every single remote dying at the same time.
7. Having to watch reality TV on one of the twelve cable channels we get because of the aforementioned situation.
8. Feeling like I've lost control of everything.