Happy 1st Birthday!

Well, I can't believe it but today is Alexandra's first birthday.  It is amazing to me how quickly this past year went.  Between hardly getting any sleep and constant diaper changes it's amazing Marcus and I survived and feel like it all went by way too fast.  The changes we all have gone through in 12 months are amazing but none more so than Alexandra herself.  She went from a crying, barely cognizant, tiny person to a mobile, Buddha bellied, full of personality person.  To capture that here are a few of her stats:

Weight:
19 pounds 2 ounces

Height:
29.5"

Teeth:
Her two front, bottom teeth are just poking through

Hair:
Thicker and blonder but still barely there

Words:
"Mamma," "dadda," "keh" (kitty), and "ball."  We are currently working on "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

Favorite games:
Rolling the ball; stacking her colored rings; using her shape sorter; "chase" which equates to her crawling away very fast then slowing down to hear if you're coming, speeding it up when she hears you coming and laughing her head off; clapping her hands or anything that makes a pleasing (to her) sound; pushing her wagon back and forth a million times; hugging her stuffed animals; helping load and unload the dishwasher; reorganizing the Tupperware drawer; giving open mouth kisses which could explain why I'm home from work today; and putting her forehead on our forehead, eyes looking into ours, while flicking her tongue in and out like a lizard thus sending us over the edge with laughter.

Favorite songs:
"The Wheels on the Bus," "Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Over the Rainbow," "Hush, Little Baby," and  Bach's Concerto in D.

We are working on:
Waving bye-bye, being gentle with Lasagna (not to mention mamma and dadda), walking, multiplication, and listening better.

Milestones reached:
To be honest I have no idea if she's reached her milestones or not.  I know she does things some babies her age do and she doesn't do things some babies her age do.  I don't really care as long as she's happy which she is about 95% of the time.  The other 5% of the time tends to go downhill during nap time or bed time when she's not exactly thrilled to be left behind in her room.

Happy 1st Birthday!

Frickin' College Kids

As another reminder of the fact we are surrounded by idiots or, to be more exact, college students, we were awakened last Friday to a person pounding on our front door. It didn't necessarily scare me out of my sleep but it certainly woke me up and when it registered what was going on, I got a little miffed. Marcus, who was lying next to me, calmly pulled the curtain back and watched as a few "goofy white kids" (his words) took off running towards the UMW campus. The next morning we also discovered that all of the cars parked in the street in front of the house had been tampered with as all of the side-view mirrors had been pushed in. This is what set me over the edge and I immediately vowed revenge. It's one thing for us to hear shouting and other randomness as the drunks stumble home from the bars in the middle of the night. To be honest we expect a certain amount of noise living close to a college campus and really, we've learned to drown out any extraneous noises unless it is unreasonable. But, it's a completely different thing when they start messing with, and trespassing onto, my private property with the sole intention of harassing my family and me. While Marcus brushes it off as college kids being college kids I, and about 99% of our friends, disagree. Pounding on someone's door and running away is something I would expect from a bunch of 10 year old boys whose balls haven't dropped (I'm going to be honest, I don't know when boy's balls drop and I don't really want to look it up on the Internet while at work but I'm thinking 10 is a reasonable age). College students should, and do, know better and no, Marcus's argument that I probably knew people in college who pulled this sh*t doesn't hold. If I did know anyone acting this way their targets were more than likely friends, not random families.

The problem is, how do I go about making sure they know I'm not going to put up with it anymore? I use the word "I" here because I do believe I stand alone in this crusade. A call to the police won't really do any good. I can only imagine, as the police are standing at the front door and I'm giving them a description of the "goofy white kid," Marcus emerges, behind me. "Ma'am!" they would shout, "He's right behind you! Remain calm...Sir, put your hands up where I can see them. Drop to the ground!" So, yeah. That won't work. Plus, by the time the police showed up the perps would be long gone. Other ideas have been thrown out but they're all along the lines of booby traps, a la Home Alone. Tar and feathers was a good idea but that sounds like a nightmare to clean up. Icing the front steps would be perfect if it wasn't 70 degrees outside despite it being the middle of February. Heating the front door so that it burns red-hot sounds like a huge waste of time, money, and energy and I try to be earth friendly. Pretending a party is going on all night wouldn't be too hard but I really like my sleep and I'm sure the fake-party noises would keep me up. So, in short, I really feel there is only one option left. We must get a dog. And, might I make a suggestion, because I've done a lot of research on what makes an excellent guard dog. I've heard that the French bulldog is a particularly nasty, vicious breed that was bred for maiming human beings (as evidenced in the picture below). It would be just the right dog for us and just the right message to send to those worthless college kids.

I shall name him "Puppy le Pew" and he will be feared by many.

Teeth, aka, Toofies!

Yesterday, it was brought to my attention by one of Alex's daycare teachers that she had a tooth!  This A.  Got me very excited because, finally! and B.  Made me feel like an inadequate mother because I didn't even notice.  In my defense though, the child has been "teething" for approximately 9 months now.  Anytime something would start to seem weird, like her sleep habits changed or we found ourselves changing her outfit three times a day due to the amount of drool she was producing, I always blamed it on teething.  She has a fever?  Teething.  Cranky?  Teething.  Feeling hungover?  Teething.  So, you see.  I'm not a lousy mother it's just that after so many times crying wolf I came to the conclusion she was just never going to have any teeth and we would eventually have to get her fitted for dentures.  My sister's step-daughter had a perfect solution for Alex the other day:  wooden teeth.  Luckily, we won't have to go that route at this time but I think she's on to something.  Come to think of it, didn't a certain, really important American political figure have wooden teeth?  And if you think I'm comparing my one year old to George Washington and thereby implying that she will one day be President of the United States of America.  Well, you would be correct.  This is, of course, after she's already made her millions with her singing talent and set Mommy and Daddy up in a villa on the Mediterranean.

UPDATE:  17 February 2012, we have two teeth!  This would explain the horrible crankiness and refusal to eat.  I'm beginning to recognize the signs and it's only taken a year!

Almost 1 Year Old Updates

The question was recently posed to me about what new things Alex is doing these days.  As I wrote my response I realized I should be putting it in a blog post.  So, drum roll please, here are just some of the latest and greatest achievements in Alex's life!

First of all, we're working on standing.  It's not frequent and it always happens by accident.  Typically, she's rummaging around in her toy chest, which is super cute to watch because she can barely reach down, into it without having to stand on her tippy-toes.  She'll stand on one foot on her toes with the other foot extended elegantly behind her as she reaches for the object of her desire.  I don't care what Marcus says, she was clearly born to be a ballerina.  Anyone with extension such as that is destined for the stage.  Anyway, after she's reached her goal she'll stand, holding on to her toy, not realizing she's perfectly balanced between her two feet.  It's just a matter of time now before she takes those first, tentative steps.

Another new trick of Alex's is her burgeoning ability to wave "bye-bye."  She pretty much does it on her own and when she's asked to do it she doesn't.  Instead she sits there, staring, looking at all of the damn fools surrounding her, until we turn to leave and she starts taking her entire arm and moving it up and down.  This morning when I dropped her off at daycare I watched as she turned in her highchair and waved at her friends who were playing on the floor.  They didn't notice and she didn't notice that they didn't notice but the whole thing made me sad and it got me thinking about when she's older and her friends ignore her and potentially make her sad how will I react?  Probably not very well.

The other day I taught Alex how to kiss which sounds wildly inappropriate but I can assure you, it is not.  It started while we were playing with all of her stuffed animals.  One by one I brought them up to her face and gave her a "kiss."  After two or three times she started leaning in for it.  So, then, on a whim I went in for the kill and she responded so sweetly by leaning forward with her lips pressed together.  She's such a good kisser that in just a matter of a few short days she's learned a few variations:  Open mouth, which she doesn't necessarily save for those closest to her; Slip-o'-the-tongue, which is not as appealing as it sounds; or, lips-pursed-together-style which, out of all three, is the kind I prefer.  Again, when I try and show people her new trick she does not comply thus making me look like a total fool.  I'm beginning to suspect she does this on purpose.

A favorite new game of hers is rolling the ball back and forth.  She loves it so much her little legs kick the floor in anticipation.  She also likes to make sure all parties are involved.  If she is playing with one person but sees another person sitting on the couch she'll roll it to the person on the couch.  If she is playing with one person in the living room and sees someone in the kitchen she'll crawl towards them with her ball, sit in the middle of the floor, and roll the ball between the two.  I'm not sure where she gets this whole sharing thing because it's something I've never been very good at especially if it involves anything of the french fry variety.  It must be something they teach in daycare.

Finally, we've been struggling with her food intake for quite a while now.  She just wasn't interested in what we were feeding her.  We made all of her food from the time she was 6 months old and, up until December, she devoured everything we made.  Then, it was like a switch went off and she was no longer interested.  Part of the problem came from the urgency we felt to get her to eat chunkier food rather than pureed.  We started giving her all chunky food and the texture really threw her off.  Then, I think she became not so fond of our cooking and would stick a tentative tongue out to taste what was on the spoon only to immediately turn her head away.  This went on for a very long time.  We finally found a few solutions one of which was ground up spaghetti and another of which was adding pureed baby food as a type of gravy to the more solid, chunky food.  Now, we've moved on to her feeding herself and things seems to be going much better.  The only problem that comes with self-feeding is she hoards her food in her cheeks like a chipmunk only she isn't a chipmunk so then she starts choking and gagging and, well, you can guess what happens next.  This is becoming a nightly routine and one I am not fond of but we're working on it.  So far, some of her favorite foods are spaghetti, pizza, pirogues, and kielbasa.  She is a bit of a Polish girl after all!  One other thing she does is she drinks from her sippy cup and boy, the way she drinks from it, you'd think she'd been lost in the Sahara for months.  She takes the cup, tilts it all the way up, and chugs, and chugs, and chugs, then stops for a quick breather, then she's back at it again.  By the time she's done she does look a bit like she's been in a desert, or working out really hard, because her entire front is soaked through.

There aren't any real updates on the vocabulary front though it's obvious she understands quite a bit.  If I ask her to bring something to me she will do it (only after like, 20 requests), and she definitely understands "no-no" though very rarely complies and instead looks at me with the most mischievous grin.  She knows where she's allowed to be in the house and where she isn't allowed to be though she typically gives herself away by laughing as she puts it into hyper-drive and crawls towards the forbidden zones.  She's also very interested in the electronic gadgets though mostly she wants to chew on them.  After removing it from her mouth a million times it soon dawns on us that this has been a game the whole time and we are just her pawns.  All in all I'm pretty sure we're in for it over the next few years.  This girl clearly has a mind of her own and she isn't afraid to use it and you know what?  I'm OK with that.

Obligatory cute picture for your enjoyment.

Valentine's Day 2001

I know I pick on Marcus a lot but to be honest it's much easier to find fault in someone else than with one's own self, not to mention the fact I'm perfect.  With that being said I suppose it's time I write something a little embarrassing about me, though in reality the story I have in mind just makes me sound even more awesome.

In the summer of 2000 I started working at a jewelry store.  This was right after I was politely asked not to return to Radford University for the next semester due to my poor participation in class, i.e. I had a .00000001 GPA*.  So, shortly after discovering I was not to be a college educated young woman I set about finding a job which ultimately led me to working in the mall at a jewelry store.  One would think that little tidbit, revealing my ultimate dismissal from college, would in itself be embarrassing but I'm not one to dwell on the past and I like to think of any "mistakes" I may have made as more "learning opportunities."

Anyway, I suppose the reason I mention my job at all is because I still stay in touch with my boss from those days and he can fully, and possibly more accurately, tell you about the time I had three Valentine's.  And when I say "Valentine's" I don't mean I received three "cards."  I mean three different guys, each at a different time, came into the jewelry store where I was working that day and showered me with gifts.  It was on that exact day that I realized I had a certain power over men that until then had gone completely unused.  Of course, my then lack of feminine wiles should not come as much of a surprise since, just prior to this, I was an awkward high schooler who fell immediately in-love with any and every boy who so much as looked at me.  It didn't even matter what he looked like; I could get around any physical discrepancies (like the absence of a nose).  As long as he paid attention to me I was his though this rarely, if ever, resulted in any sort of romance since I was too shy to act towards those feelings in the first place (Class of 1999's "Most Reserved" at your service.  'Sup?).

So, then came the day in 2001 when one by one various suitors strolled through the store, arms filled with roses, cards, candy, and in one really sweet instance a Valentine themed, homemade stuffed bunny rabbit his mom had made.  The first time a potential suitor arrived it was very sweet.  The second time a potential suitor arrived it was puzzling, yet flattering.  The third time a potential suitor arrived...I'm pretty sure my boss had to excuse himself from the room he was laughing so hard.  All of these guys were my friends yet it had never occurred to me that they might think of me in a different light.  Naturally, all of these friendships fizzled over time.  I don't remember if any actually soured because the proclamation of adoration was not returned but I like to think that didn't happen.

It was after this that my sales at the jewelry store increased (a little flirting with the soon-to-be-fiancee never hurt anyone and it generally resulted in him spending more than he intended), I got more free dinners than I can count, and my overall sense of self-confidence increased dramatically, the later of course being the most important.

It should be stated that after realizing my power I didn't always play my cards right.  There were more than a few awkward times when I was going on dates with more than one person and I always dreaded the "talk" when I grew weary of their presence (I would have made one hell of a Queen).  I know for sure I "hid" from a guy I went on a few dates with in plain sight as a coworker told him I wasn't there...despite the fact I was indeed, right there, in plain sight.  And I remember going on a date with a gentleman who was roughly 10 years older than me and who more than likely wanted me to call him "daddy" (too bad for him I'm not a girl with daddy issues).  I even remember a fellow asking if I would like to check out his barn.  To this day I don't know if that was an euphemism or if he really did have a barn but I was smart enough to know better than to accept that invitation.

In retrospect I suppose it's true what they say in regards to finding the one for you:  "You have to go through a lot of weeds to find your flower."  It's a stupid, corny, juvenile saying but it definitely rings true.  And yes, in case you're wondering, I'm referring to Marcus as my "flower."  He will be so pleased when he reads that, I'm sure.

So in closing I think it should come as no surprise to Marcus that, given my history with Valentine's Day, I expect big things (*ahem* just a mere suggestion, that's all).  Really, he has no one to blame except his own male species**.  They set the bar high and now he has to surpass it.

*Not really but it was bad.  Very bad.
** And himself considering we got engaged in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day weekend three years ago.  So, yeah.  He really screwed himself over with that one.

Ugh

It's really strange that my blog has somehow, inexplicably, been linked to blog's written by Latter Day Saints mothers and hippie-dippy mothers.  I’m neither a Latter Day Saint nor a hippie-dippy.  I most certainly do not post about all 9 of my children (no freaking way will that ever happen) or how I plan on eating the placenta after having a natural water birth in my home the next go round.  My blog posts don’t constantly end with “I am so blessed” followed by scripture.  To be honest, I know I’m blessed.  I don’t need to write it out every day as a reminder to me, myself, and I what I already know.  I don’t try and “educate” the world on Natural Family Planning and make claims that all women who take birth control pills will be plagued with miscarriages, premature births, or infertility with the only back-up as proof is a book written by an Evangelical minister.  Mostly though, these women are so freaking boring.  *whining*  I don’t want my blog to be lumped in the same, boring category as these other women.  How can I make mine stand out from the rest as the blog it is meant to be:  at times funny, maybe a little insensitive, but definitely fun to read (at least to me it is).

Question

Why does Alex sleep through a fire truck screaming past the house, a marching band practicing under her window, and a teenager attempting to P-I-M-P in his momma's minivan with the bass thumping, but yet she wakes up when I brush my hair in the farthest room from hers?

That is the question.