Caution: Wide Load

I have to give Marcus credit.  I haven't heard one remark about "wide loads" or anything that might be deemed inappropriate to say to a 6 month pregnant woman.  He clearly learned his lesson from last time.  With that being said, it should just be assumed at this point that there are certain aspects of my body that are widening.  Some have come as a complete surprise (my feet) and some have not (my a$$), though the most surprising part has been that it all seems to have taken place over-night (my a$$ again).

Take today, for instance.  I woke up, took a shower, and went to put on clothes for the day.  As I did so, I couldn't help but notice that my work pants, a simple pair of black pants with the ultra comfy waist band that comes up and over the navel, were quite snug in the rear end.  Hmm.  They fit pretty well a week ago.  I went through a short list of what I had eaten in the past week or so and admitted to myself that it probably hadn't been the most healthy of diets considering every night ends with a relaxing mug of ice cream with chocolate syrup.  Plus, my sister was married over this past weekend so it was a weekend filled with unhealthy food choices in an attempt to just get something in my stomach.  Plus, I can feel the desire to eat well slowly subsiding as I start to lose sight of my toes.  Plus, I've been wearing mostly skirts and dresses so maybe, just maybe, this widening has been taking place slowly but surely, I just haven't noticed due to the extra girth growth room in my clothing. 

My feet are also getting bigger.  I don't know if it's due to the summer heat or if they truly are widening.  Either way, I'm beginning to wonder what my company's policy is on flip-flops because by the time this baby is born that is the only thing that is going to fit these fat feet.  This is one aspect of pregnancy I missed out on when pregnant with Alex.  It could be because I was pregnant with her during the winter months therefore the heat wasn't affecting my body like it is now.  Either way, I'm not enjoying cramming my feet into work appropriate shoes every day.  Ah, who am I kidding?  Even my cute, strappy, weekend sandals feel tight.  How am I supposed to feel somewhat attractive when I can't even wear cute shoes to make up for the horribleness of the maternity clothes?  Such is the conundrum of my life.

Temper Tantrums

Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Live commercial that parodies the woman's contraceptive Seasonique?  In the parody they call the contraceptive "Annuale" and it's really one of the more hilarious skits I've ever seen.  (I'll put a You Tube link up later)  The best part is when the voice-over in the ad states that when the women do start their period after using Annuale they better "hold on to your f****** hats" and then it cuts to a scene of absolute chaos as the women in the skit start raging and going berserk.

That is all I can think of when my 16 month old is throwing her daily temper tantrums.  Somewhere along the last few weeks temper tantrums have turned into daily events and all we can do is hold on to our f****** hats.  They start with very little warning, they're violent, they can last for what feels like a lifetime, and the second they're over it's as if nothing happened.  I suppose she's always had it in her I've just forgotten over time because for the most part she's been a very happy and easy going baby.

It's all coming back to me now though and I remember as a newborn she would fuss and cry for what felt like hours.  Nighttime was especially hard and I would find myself walking the hallway, cradling her, and singing lullabies to soothe her.  Now that she's bigger and stronger and has no interest in being cradled or sung to it's a lot harder to soothe her.  While I sit there doing my best to hold onto her and help her calm down my heart breaks because I don't know what else to do and I don't know how to prevent it.

I hate to admit this, he'll gloat forever, but I think Marcus is right.  It's just a phase and we have to work through it like we've worked through everything else.  Of course, being that she's a girl I'm sure the temper tantrums will never stop to some extent.  God help us when we hit the teenage years.  We're going to need a lot of wine.  

Rounding The Bend

So, we're rounding the bend of the second trimester and heading into the third and I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going.  It's no surprise really what with taking care of Alexandra, work, school work, plus whatever social activities we have going on (especially since the summer started and everyone is officially out of hibernation).  During the week we're lucky if we get to veg out by 9:00.

A lot of people have remarked on how "little" I am though I believe that term is relative as I feel like at least the size of a small sedan, not quite a house, yet.  But give it time, I say, because it wasn't until the third trimester when I was pregnant with Alex that I began to really pack on the pounds.  It was at that time that I realized no matter what I did I was going to gain weight and therefore what I ate didn't matter.  It wasn't that I ate a lot I just ate less quality food.  Since my last doctor's appointment I'd gained about 5 pounds so we'll see what the grand total is on Wednesday.

Whoever is in there is quite the mover (and sitting very low hence my suspicion this may very well be a boy).  In fact I've woken up a few times during the night recently and realized that what probably woke me up was the tap dance routine taking place in my belly.  There is a lot of kicking and jabbing and definitely a lot of hiccuping but luckily (s)he is still relatively small and not very strong, yet.

Also, my hormones are INFRICKINGSANE.  I sh*t you not when I say that I cried watching Shaun of the Dead yesterday.  Have you seen it?  The comedy/horror flick about zombies (and admittedly one of my favorite movies).  Words can't even describe how stupid I knew it was for me to be crying.  *rolling eyes at self*

I'm still taking my ballet class every week though we'll be going on a two-week hiatus very soon.  My center of gravity is definitely off and I can barely stand in the center of the room and point my toe forward without falling over.  Last night we watched a documentary about Russian prima ballerinas with the Kirov and Marcus wondered if my ballet classes look like their rehearsals.  In an effort not to shatter his apparently really impressive image of my dance ability I replied "Yes, honey, they do."  That's love if you ask me.  Not many men would see a 100 pound (maybe) ballerina and think their pregnant wife must look like that when dancing.  Ah, amore.

So, I guess that's about it for now.  I can feel my energy being zapped more and more every day and really, there isn't an end in sight because once the new baby arrives energy levels will be at practically zero.  Yay?    

Bobble Head Baby

Alex went to the doctor the other day for her 15 month check-up.  She's right where she should be and really the only thing to note is the following:  She's in the 22% for weight, 26% for height, and a whopping 67% for head circumference.  Baby girl has got a huge noggin.  I guess it's to hold that extra large, extra smart brain of hers.  In short, Marcus and I have produced a real-life bobble head.

She Just Keeps Growing!

Two things that Alex did yesterday that blew me away:  1.  I pointed to my belly and said "baby."  Alex repeated the sound, and in her own way said "baby" then rubbed my tummy.  2.  When asked if she was ready for nite, nite she vehemently shook her head "no."  I'm still suspicious if she really grasps what shaking one's head side-to-side means but regardless it was funny and, as Marcus said, what kid says they want to go to bed?  Point taken.

Alexandra's New "Tricks"

I have a coworker who recently asked me what new "tricks" Alexandra is doing (Side-Yet-Not-Surprising-Note: He does not have children) and I was stumped.  I couldn't come up with anything on the spot but truth-be-told she is doing a lot of new "tricks."  She's discovered that her little legs can carry her just a tad bit faster than a snail's pace.  It's her own version of running.  We aren't aiming for the Olympic 100-meter dash yet, folks, but we have time.  She's also discovering that there is a world outside of a 5 foot radius of mom and dad, much to our delight (yes, that's sarcasm).  Imagine how tempting it must be for a little one who is testing out her new legs to see an empty aisle she can tear up and down.  Now, imagine the horror of her parents because the empty aisle is in church and the only reason it's empty is because church service is currently being held.  It should also be noted that we've created somewhat of a monster in that when Alexandra does start running (typically in the privacy of our own home) we've turned it into a "Catch-me" game and therefore she squeals in delight when captured.  Lucky for us, our church is child friendly though we've begun to question when her cuteness will take a back-burner to her parent's inability to control her.

She's also discovered her belly button and will proudly display it when prompted.  "Alexandra, where's your belly button?" we'll ask and she'll get the biggest grin as she touches her belly button through her shirt.  Then, as if to make sure you really grasp the concept of where her belly button is, the shirt comes up to reveal the portliest belly with the biggest outtie belly button you've ever seen.  This has resulted in a few Girls Gone Wild type flashing's but at the moment it's too cute to stop.  She's also slowly learning her other body parts such as eyes and ears though those have proven to be a bit harder to grasp.  Maybe the fact that the two words sound somewhat similar is throwing her off.  Needless to say, when asked where her eyes are she points to her ears and vice versa.  Clearly, she grasps what we're saying just not completely.

She's also taken to some sort of imaginary game, though we aren't 100% convinced she knows it's imaginary.  She will walk to us, arm extended, grasping something between her fingers and insist we open our hands to take it.  Only, there's nothing there.  I would guess that at 15 months of age imaginary play such as that is too old of a concept so I'm not really sure what's going on in that little head of hers.  It could be she really is picking something up so miniscule that it drops out of her hand almost immediately.  Who knows?  Either way, it's fun and we enjoy the game.

So, there you have it.  Alexandra's new "tricks."  I'm currently working on getting her to balance a treat on her nose and then eat it on command but so far no luck.  She has such a short little nose it's hard to balance anything on it.

Baby Hacker

In a matter of 24 hours Alexandra has managed to rename "My Computer" on my computer to "MR4VNF7" and changed the sound of the button's on Marcus's cell phone to one of a typewriter.  Imagine my confusion when I couldn't find "My Computer" in order to save a document.  Imagine Marcus's confusion when his phone started to sound like a typewriter.  She is China to our America.