99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall! 99 Bottles of B...Aww, Man

If you know me or if you know Marcus you know that we enjoy our, how do you say, adult beverages.  A lot.  We often lament the fact that most of our socializing revolves around alcohol but in reality I don't think we would want it any other way.  We're responsible drinkers, i.e. one of us or another person is always the designated driver and if we can we walk to where we need to go.  In short, we, as is our social circle, are drinkers.  Therefore it becomes noticeable when a member of the group stops drinking.

This was an issue I knew would arise sooner or later...and in our case it was much sooner than we thought.  No matter how you look at it there really isn't a time of year that doesn't involve drinking events.  As it is, there is a very real cycle to our social calendar and, using today to start things off, it begins with "It's the end of summer so quick, let's have a party before cold weather sets in" events; after summer is gone the football games begin which are either watched at the game itself or in a bar on a big screen TV; once football season begins we start heading into the holidays starting with Halloween and finally ending with New Years Eve; there can be a small respite in the dead of winter unless you're a hockey fan and then, well you just never stop drinking; if you aren't a hockey fan then drinking commences with St. Patrick's day; finally, we go into the "weather's getting warmer, let's party" events, and thus the cycle continues.  The only way one can really pull-off not drinking is by basically becoming a hermit and potentially ticking-off a few people in the process.  I hope we haven't done that but we keep reminding ourselves that if friends are annoyed with our declines to events they will forgive us once they know our reasoning.  In the meantime, for those who have invited us out and who we have accepted...well, I'm afraid we aren't fooling anybody.

The first to figure us out were two good friends who apparently are Sherlock Holmes* and Dr. Watson.  Damn them and their uncanny ability to sleuth!  What clued them is were three weekends in a row that I was not seen with a bottle of beer or wine glass in hand.  As I recall the first weekend we saw them I had a slight inclination as to what was going on so, I did indulge in one glass of wine but that was it.  Totally abnormal behavior.  The second weekend we accepted an invitation to go to a wine bar in town.  That was dumb.  Marcus and I got there early so I could order something non-alcoholic which, of course, upon Sherlock and Watson's arrival immediately sparked curiosity because it was something different.  I also tried to feign a headache that day thinking that would do the trick.  I was never meant to be an actor because it didn't work.  Finally, the third weekend we had friends over for game night.  I had told everyone ahead of time that I couldn't drink because of medication I was on.  I felt like the biggest jerk when someone made a point to say that if I were pregnant, being on medcation and thus not drinking would be a great excuse.  So, after those three weekends in a row Sherlock and Watson figured us out.  Though, in our defense interrogating a drunk Marcus at 4 am and getting him to officially spill the beans is not very fair.  Hmpfff...

Interestingly enough, only two other girlfriends have caught on to my non-drinking and confronted me about it:  Running Girl and Wine Buddy.  I knew Running Girl would catch on quickly (though how quickly I never would have guessed).  We'd talked about how to hide a pregnancy from our friends so many times during runs together I should have known she would figure me out first.  I actually think though that it was New Mommy #1 who tipped her off.  I'm fairly certain I saw the light bulb literally go off over New Mommy 1#'s head as she put two and two together.  Anyway, Running Girl and Wine Buddy have both noticed but have understood when I decline to elaborate which is appreciated more than they'll ever know.

Funny enough the few times I have gotten away without drinking and nobody has noticed have been at a bar that caters exclusively to beer drinkers.  They have over 300 different types of beers available for the choosing so if you're heading that way it goes without saying you plan to indulge in a beer, or two, or three...sometimes four...OK, I lied...at least five.  So, picture this:  Marcus and I are the "newlyweds" at a table of couples with newborns.  There are at least 8 of us and all are drinking beer.  Except me.  In fact, we were asked multiple times when we were starting a family and after deflecting the question a million different times all the group had to do was look at my giant glass o' water for their answer.  Sherlock and Watson they were not.

*I don't feel it's completely necessary to tell you that the names have been changed but just in case you think I have friends that go by Sherlock Holmes or Wine Buddy I want to clarify that these are not their real names.