My Husband. Bless His Heart.

When you hear someone in the south say "Bless so-and-so's heart" they mean it less in a literal sense and more in a "God love them but damn are they unfortunate/pitiful/strange, etc."

My husband can be a rather strange one at times and yesterday was no exception.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anything in this world. He is the only person I could even begin to imagine being stranded on a desert island with and life without him would not be a life worth living. There are so many reasons I love him but one of the biggest reasons is his laid-back personality. If you were to look-up the definition for “laid-back” you would, in fact, see his picture next to it (see below). It takes a lot to get him worked up about anything and rarely does that happen.

That is until he gets his heart set on something. It’s at that point that my laid-back husband becomes a stubborn husband who will not let one thing stand in his way, whether that one thing is hell or high-water or an ice storm, from getting what he wants.

This is where my story begins.

Yesterday my boss walked into my office and said “What are you still doing here? Go home!” Alas, this isn’t something that he typically tells me to do and it was only because the beginnings of a winter storm were starting to affect the area. The ice in our area was apparently starting to build and it would be better to drive now rather than later. “I can’t leave yet. I rode in with Marcus,” was my reply. “Ohhh…” he said, giving me a knowing look. We’ve had plenty of discussions about the situation I’ve found myself in which is carpooling with Marcus 2 of the 5 work days. While I enjoy the extra quality time I get to spend with him (and the quick 20 minute nap I can catch either on the way to work or home) I hate being on his schedule. When that clock strikes 4:00 PM I want to leave! Now! Damnit!

Shortly after my boss told me to go home I called Marcus and told him that I had been given strict instructions to head home. So, Marcus came to pick me up and we headed in the general direction of our house. With one, slight exception. We turned in the complete opposite direction of our house and instead headed towards a friend’s who lives on the water. Marcus had mentioned the night before that he was going to pick-up the jet ski from our friends so that he could bring it home and work on it. I’m assuming it will take a full four months before this thing gets running because that’s how long we have until it’s warm enough to even consider putting it in the water. “Are we seriously going to pick-up the jet ski?” I asked. “Why not?” Marcus replied. “Because, the whole purpose of leaving work early was to avoid driving in the ice storm” was my logical response. I didn’t get much more of an answer after that (I win! Sort of.) but we continued to head in the direction of the water. We arrived at our friend’s house and Marcus began hitching the jet ski to the back of the trailer. During that time the ice really began coming down. We finally set back on the road and as we were driving (roughly 10 miles per hour by this point) it occurred to me that we looked mighty funny towing a jet ski behind our vehicle…in an ice/snow storm.  It also gave me time to stew and as we creeped along I got madder and madder.  The whole point to leaving early was to avoid this!  How dare he have me out in this weather in my condition!  “I bet people are pointing and laughing at us” I said in the most nonchalant voice I could muster.

 
I was right.

Shortly after those infamous last words escaped my lips we passed another friend and his girlfriend leaving a gas station. It didn’t seem like he noticed us, and I knew he would appreciate the humor, so I quickly text messaged him with the following: “We just passed you at Sheetz. We’re the assholes in the Jeep towing a jet ski…because clearly we’ll want to be using it soon.” Not more than 5 minutes later I get a phone call from our friend laughing hysterically. It would appear that he did not notice us but his girlfriend did. “Who the f*** is pulling a jet ski in the snow?” was her question. “I don’t know, babe. People are weird around here. Maybe they’re going to the lake?” was the response she got. When my text message was received it was the icing on the cake. As he recounted to me the conversation that had just taken place I was laughing so hard tears streamed from my eyes.

The best part was as he told her people were weird “around here” (which they are) he didn’t realize that he was talking about his own friends. I’m not sure who should take that statement more personally: Us for being thrown in the “weird” category or him for having the weird friends.

The worst part was (or potentially another “best” because I was right) it was confirmed: Yes, people were pointing and laughing at us as we drove by.

That is where the story ends.  Due to my husband's stubbornness we now have the jet ski in the garage ready to be worked on at any time in the next 4 months. In retrospect, while I was mad that we were driving in the storm all for a jet ski that didn’t necessarily need to be picked up at that exact moment, it does leave me with a good story and that is all that matters.





Laid-backittude.  He has it.