Grievances

There are some things pregnant women claim during their pregnancy that I just can't help but roll my eyes at.  Actually, scratch that.  There are a lot of things pregnant women claim that I roll my eyes at.  Clumsiness, “baby brain,” and “the baby doesn’t like that food” are at the top of my list.

If I trip over the sidewalk because a tree root has started pushing up the concrete it's not because I'm pregnant and hence have a propensity to be clumsy.  It's because I wasn't paying attention and, as is usual, was shuffling my feet and tripped.  If I almost drop a box it's not because the little entity growing inside of me willed it so it's because I almost flat-out dropped the box.  Especially at this stage in pregnancy where my belly is almost as flat as the day I found out I was pregnant there really is no merit in claiming the baby is making my clumsy.  The only way I can concede that this excuse will work is when the belly is protruding farther than it ever has before and at that time it’s more of a getting used to it factor and less of the “baby did it.”

The so called "baby brain" is another pet peeve.  Please, accept the fact that you can't remember something whether it's a word or what the very last topic of conversation you were just having.  The baby is not controlling you.  Though the baby is essentially a little parasite growing inside your body it is not a little man controlling your very thoughts and emotions.

If a pregnant woman eats something that later disagrees with her it's not because the baby didn't like it.  Considering the jury is still out as to when a fetus gains consciousness it's highly doubtful that the fetus has developed a sense of taste.  A fetus cannot tell the difference between a gourmet meal or a Domino’s pizza.  Now, a woman’s body might reject a certain type of food.  Let’s be honest, if you're eating a spicy dish for the first time in your life it's probably not going to sit well, man or woman, pregnant or not pregnant.  It happens.

While I find pregnant women endearing they are annoying all at the same time.  Yes, it is amazing what a woman goes through to produce a miniature version of herself and her partner but let's stop placing the blame on a being that is roughly the size of your hand and weighs as much as a feather.  There will be plenty of time for that later.