Issues

I really do not like being a stay-at-home mom.  I dislike it greatly.  I can go so far as to say that I hate it.  I hate that day in and day out is spent changing diapers, constantly feeding bottomless pits, dealing with tantrums, and feeling like a failure when I inevitably lose my cool.  How am I supposed to be raising stellar members of society when I can barely keep it together to act as the model of one?  I can barely look at the girls sometimes because I'm either unhappy with them or severely unhappy with myself as their mother.

I hate that we live as far away from family and friends as we do.  When I'm feeling like I do today I have no one to call on to come give me a break.  I haven't made any friends down here because I just don't have it in me.

I hate that I no longer have my own source of income and have to rely on my husband to support the family.  Somewhere, in the efforts of women to become so equal amongst men we have done ourselves a huge disservice because it seems no matter which direction a woman chooses when it comes to her family life it's never good enough.  If you're a working mom you're not good enough because you aren't raising your babies and instead relying on day care and other types of care to raise your children.  If you're a stay-at-home mom you're not good enough because women should be equal in the work force and if men can work and have families so can women.  For me personally, this feminist bullsh*t has created a lot of inner turmoil and I can't imagine I'm the only one.

I am stressed, tired, and unhappy.  Something has to give.