22 months in case you're wondering. Twenty-frickin'-two months. If anyone has a right to say "FML" it's a pregnant elephant.
We had our 38 week check-up this morning and I think it's pretty safe to say I am going to be pregnant for the rest of my life. This baby is not interested in joining the rest of us. I have to admit, I'm ready for him/her to vacate the premises. As of this very moment the baby is nuzzling into my bladder and rectum all at the same time. I picture it using my bladder as a pillow and then draping it's arm over my rectum, pulling it in tighter and snuggling up for a long nap. If that isn't a feeling every woman yearns to be rid of I don't know what is.
Remember that time I compared my ballet skills to that of an elephant? I wasn't trying to be literal. I really do think that without a pregnant belly I float like a butterfly. In fact, I'd like to take it back because it seems like someone is playing a cruel joke on me and I'm not even half-way through this pregnancy. It may be time to take matters into my own hands...
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