Today

Today is a big day.

Today I am 30 weeks pregnant.  That gives us 10 weeks to get everything in order.  Or, if you're going by Alex's premature delivery date, 5 weeks.  I'm still feeling remarkably good despite the fact I'm about as big as I was when 8 months pregnant with Alex.  I suppose it's from my belly already being stretched out from before.  Ask me in about 2 months how I feel and I'll probably murder you on the spot.  No offense.  I've still somehow managed to stay active in ballet and glide across the floor with all of the grace of a hippopotamus (when on land, not in water...they seriously are very graceful when swimming).  The baby is getting stronger by the day and sometimes surprises me with quick jabs to the belly especially since (s)he has been more of a relaxer than a tae kwon do master. 

Today is also Marcus's and my 3 year anniversary.  3 years and almost 2 kids later.  It's amazing how much has changed in such a short span of time.  Unfortunately, Marcus isn't around to celebrate with me and that's a huge bummer.  So far this year he's been absent for Valentine's Day and now our anniversary (I won't even mention the lack of even a card on Mother's Day).  I'm going to assume he'll be around for the birth of our second child (which trumps both Valentine's Day and our anniversary combined) but you know what happens when you assume...

Today I signed-up to take both of my psychology classes at the same time in preparation for this next kiddo.  My thought process went a little something like this:  Hey!  You know what sounds like a great idea and not at all stressful?!  Taking two classes at the same time because they'll end on October 12th.  So, if I do that, and work my a$$ off to finish before October 12th, then I'll have the rest of the year to take-off from school and tend to the baby and Alex.  That makes complete sense doesn't it?  The only way this could fail is if the baby arrives earlier than expected.  Also, this could fail if I end up having a complete break-down which I'm pretty much banking on.

Today I've also realized that I am in a funk.  I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything.  I'm quite content to go to work during the day and hang out at home with Alex during the evening.  Anything else is annoying and really, just a burden.  To go anywhere at all takes a lot of effort and planning and I just don't have it in me.  Even a trip to the library (which is coming because I have a research paper due) sounds like a huge pain in the a$$ to me.  Not to mention I have Alex with me all of the time which means chasing after her and constantly making sure she is happy because, despite what most people think, the saying actually goes "If baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".  Also, I think by now it goes without saying, I'm 7.5 months pregnant.  I'm tired.  Life can pass me by for all I care just as long as I'm able to sit on the couch and eat my ice cream.