I know I pick on Marcus a lot but to be honest it's much easier to find fault in someone else than with one's own self, not to mention the fact I'm perfect. With that being said I suppose it's time I write something a little embarrassing about me, though in reality the story I have in mind just makes me sound even more awesome.
In the summer of 2000 I started working at a jewelry store. This was right after I was politely asked not to return to Radford University for the next semester due to my poor participation in class, i.e. I had a .00000001 GPA*. So, shortly after discovering I was not to be a college educated young woman I set about finding a job which ultimately led me to working in the mall at a jewelry store. One would think that little tidbit, revealing my ultimate dismissal from college, would in itself be embarrassing but I'm not one to dwell on the past and I like to think of any "mistakes" I may have made as more "learning opportunities."
Anyway, I suppose the reason I mention my job at all is because I still stay in touch with my boss from those days and he can fully, and possibly more accurately, tell you about the time I had three Valentine's. And when I say "Valentine's" I don't mean I received three "cards." I mean three different guys, each at a different time, came into the jewelry store where I was working that day and showered me with gifts. It was on that exact day that I realized I had a certain power over men that until then had gone completely unused. Of course, my then lack of feminine wiles should not come as much of a surprise since, just prior to this, I was an awkward high schooler who fell immediately in-love with any and every boy who so much as looked at me. It didn't even matter what he looked like; I could get around any physical discrepancies (like the absence of a nose). As long as he paid attention to me I was his though this rarely, if ever, resulted in any sort of romance since I was too shy to act towards those feelings in the first place (Class of 1999's "Most Reserved" at your service. 'Sup?).
So, then came the day in 2001 when one by one various suitors strolled through the store, arms filled with roses, cards, candy, and in one really sweet instance a Valentine themed, homemade stuffed bunny rabbit his mom had made. The first time a potential suitor arrived it was very sweet. The second time a potential suitor arrived it was puzzling, yet flattering. The third time a potential suitor arrived...I'm pretty sure my boss had to excuse himself from the room he was laughing so hard. All of these guys were my friends yet it had never occurred to me that they might think of me in a different light. Naturally, all of these friendships fizzled over time. I don't remember if any actually soured because the proclamation of adoration was not returned but I like to think that didn't happen.
It was after this that my sales at the jewelry store increased (a little flirting with the soon-to-be-fiancee never hurt anyone and it generally resulted in him spending more than he intended), I got more free dinners than I can count, and my overall sense of self-confidence increased dramatically, the later of course being the most important.
It should be stated that after realizing my power I didn't always play my cards right. There were more than a few awkward times when I was going on dates with more than one person and I always dreaded the "talk" when I grew weary of their presence (I would have made one hell of a Queen). I know for sure I "hid" from a guy I went on a few dates with in plain sight as a coworker told him I wasn't there...despite the fact I was indeed, right there, in plain sight. And I remember going on a date with a gentleman who was roughly 10 years older than me and who more than likely wanted me to call him "daddy" (too bad for him I'm not a girl with daddy issues). I even remember a fellow asking if I would like to check out his barn. To this day I don't know if that was an euphemism or if he really did have a barn but I was smart enough to know better than to accept that invitation.
In retrospect I suppose it's true what they say in regards to finding the one for you: "You have to go through a lot of weeds to find your flower." It's a stupid, corny, juvenile saying but it definitely rings true. And yes, in case you're wondering, I'm referring to Marcus as my "flower." He will be so pleased when he reads that, I'm sure.
So in closing I think it should come as no surprise to Marcus that, given my history with Valentine's Day, I expect big things (*ahem* just a mere suggestion, that's all). Really, he has no one to blame except his own male species**. They set the bar high and now he has to surpass it.
*Not really but it was bad. Very bad.
** And himself considering we got engaged in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day weekend three years ago. So, yeah. He really screwed himself over with that one.
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