Describing Life To A Toddler

There are so many caveats to teaching a child the ways of the world.  For example, shortly after we moved, Alexandra couldn't help but notice the massive helicopters flying overhead.  At first they frightened her and sometimes at night, as I was putting her to bed, she would hear them.  Her eyes would get big and she'd look at me as if to say "what the..." and I tried to reassure her by saying the helicopter was coming back to say "goodnight."  I don't think that helped.  Anyway, after a while she began to enjoy seeing them and now anything with a noisy motor is assumed to be a helicopter.  Also flying overhead quite often are Osprey (Marcus pointed out that some may not know what I'm talking about so click on the link if you think I'm referring to a bird...because I'm not).  Now, how do I explain those to my child?  They aren't a helicopter.  They aren't an airplane.  So, for now, they are also helicopters.

Another factor brought on by our move is the sound of mortars being fired at all hours of the day.  "Noise?" Alex says to which I reply "they're practicing."  Practicing killing people but practicing nonetheless.  I left that last bit out of the explanation.

Alex played with a Barbie for the first time and noticed the similarities in Barbie's chest and mommy's chest.  We agreed that both mommy and Barbie have breasts.  Then, Alex started playing with the Ken doll and pointed to his chest and said "breasts."  I said "No sweetheart, boys don't have breasts...well, some boys have breasts but they aren't supposed to."  That was probably too much information.

Today, we read the same book about a million times and each time at the end of it I would say "Spot is having his good supper" to which Alex looked at my quizzically and said "supper?"  "Yes, supper.  It's like dinner.  I think.  Well, if we were British I might know the difference."  That didn't exactly clear things up for her so we're just going to go with supper and dinner are one in the same.

I've never been known to keeping things short and sweet when I go to describe something and I realize that's a fault of mine.  I'll catch myself saying the same thing but in a million different ways and probably driving the listener crazy.  I'm probably going to do that to Alex and eventually Jo.  Well, naturally I'll drive them crazy, this is just one way I'm already aware of.

So Tired

Listen up girls.  When mommy doesn't go to bed until almost midnight every night because she has to wait to pump and then Jo wakes her up at least twice over the course of the night you really shouldn't expect too much out of her when you both wake up at 6:00 in the morning ready for the day.  I know this concept is foreign to you right now but in a few years you'll understand why mommy isn't exactly in a jovial mood and why she just sent Alexandra to her bedroom because she was whining and crying and mommy was about to lose her sh*t and thought it would be best for everyone if we all parted ways for a minute or two...maybe 30.

Alex's Second Birthday!

Alexandra is two!  For Alex's second birthday we had a beautiful kitty cake (courtesy of grandma) and ice cream with grandma, grandpa, Uncle Jonas, and Mimi.  Alex clearly understands the concept of presents which is sad because the innocence is lost forever.  Anyway, there isn't much else to say except I'll write down some of her stats below:

 

Weight:
25 pounds

Height:
33.9"

Teeth:
She has 12 teeth total.  I think she's missing about 8?

Hair:
It's baby fine but past her shoulders.  The bright blonde is growing out and it's growing in just a tad bit darker.

Words:
  Too many to count.  She's stringing three words together and every day learns a new word (though whether she understands its definition remains to be seen).

Favorite games:
Chase, hide and seek (though she's a horrible seeker and even worse hider), kicking and throwing her ball, "on your mark, get set, go!", playing with her toys, patty cake, peek-a-boo, dancing, and tickling are just a few of her favorites.

Favorite songs:
"Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," and whatever music is playing that she can dance to.
Favorite books:
Olivia, Gossie, BooBoo, Fancy Nancy, Curious George, I Love Cats, anything that has flaps to lift and generally any book at all she will read.  And read.  And read.
Favorite TV shows:
I hate that she watches TV at all but after having JoJo it's become a small part of our day while I attend to Jo's needs.  Anyway, she loves Dora the Explorer and "Melmo" and Abby Caddaby.

We are working on:
Cleaning up after ourselves, using our words when we need or want something, being polite, not whining every time dadda shows up, and listening (she is slowly mastering the art of procrastination).

Milestones reached:
I'm sure she's surpassed her preemie status as she has extraordinary fine and gross motor skills, her language is right where it should be, she soaks up new information like a sponge, she can run, jump, kick and dribble a ball, and loves to go down the slide at the playground.  She's still a little thing and doesn't realize just how little she is but that's OK.  What she lacks in size she makes up for in her fearlessness.

Alex and her Elmo Balloon

Judgey McJudgerson

I'm a judger.  I judge.  I can't help it.  I like to think it's human nature but maybe it's my own human fault that drives me to judge others.  Since we've moved to the Jacksonville area I find myself doing it more and more.  One day I sat and watched and judged our pregnant neighbor across the street for smoking.  I judge the neighbors to the right of us for being bad dog owners by letting their dog bark it's head off at 7 in the morning.  Today, I'm judging the neighbors to the left of us for broaching an issue with our fence line in a strange manner.  The wife knocked on our door and prefaced the issue with "I wanted to come over here before my husband did because he won't be as nice about it..."  Before she could even explain what the issue was I had already judged the mystery husband as being an asshole if he couldn't be cordial enough to approach his new neighbors in a respectful manner.

I've since spent the rest of this afternoon missing my friends in Virginia.  We were spoiled, that's for certain.  Marcus and I surrounded ourselves with beautiful people inside and out and today I'm missing them all terribly.

Fernando

It is a gorgeous day on the beach.  The sun is shining as a light breeze caresses the palm trees.  The aqua ocean stretches as far as the eye can see and practically melds into the cloudless sky.  I take a deep breath and lay back in the chaise lounge.  I glance over the top of my sunglasses and see Fernando, the lithe, 20-something, Brazilian underwear model approaching with my pina coloda and bowl of grapes.  "Fernando," I say "Peel my grapes before feeding them to me this time.  I can't stand grape skin."  I close my eyes and relax as Fernando leans over me and one by one peels each grape and pops them in my mouth.  "Fernando, what is that smell?  Why am I smelling peanut butter?  What happened to the coconut oil I asked you to wear?"  I open my eyes expecting to see the lithe, 20-something, Brazilian underwear model named Fernando but instead I see the lithe, almost 2-something toddler Alexandra.  She is covered in peanut butter and jelly and instead of feeding me grapes she is systematically shoving goldfish down my throat.

And scene.

Changes

Please don't call Child Protective Services on me for what I'm about to say.  I can guarantee you that I would never physically harm my children.  I've come to realize that being a parent is loving your child with such intensity that you would die for them yet at the same time you feel like you could kill them at any moment.  In the end someone is dying and more than likely it's you because most of us are sane and wouldn't actually harm our children.  Or, maybe it's a little bit of your previous self that dies every day after having children and therefore less of a literal death.

Take me for instance.  I look in the mirror and wonder where the knock-out blonde from just a few short years ago has gone.  In her place is a brunette (recently dyed) who could care less what she looks like.  In a way it's sort of liberating not feeling like I have to dress to impress and no longer do I feel it necessary to wear a full face of make-up and cute outfit because "you never know who you might run into" when running errands.  If I've even made it into anything that doesn't remotely resemble sweatpants it's a good day.  If I put in my contact lenses it's an even better day.  And if I'm wearing make-up then there must be something really special taking place that day.  If I get to take a shower in the morning as opposed to the evening after the kids have gone to bed then I'm calling it a day because it doesn't get much better than that.  I suppose it's a good thing that my priorities have changed.  There are a few things I don't really miss like drinking my face off every weekend but I have to admit...I miss me.  The me I mentioned above.  The me who did care about what she looked like and wouldn't be caught dead with her glasses on and no make-up in public.  I like to think this is just a phase and as soon as I, and the girls, are more adjusted I'll find myself again.  Until then I'll be the one wearing pajama jeans and glasses at your local Wal-Mart.

Chunky Monkey

Our chunky monkey, aka JoJo, is 3 months old but we both feel like she's been here for longer she's such an integral part of the family.  At her check-up the other day she weighed 14 pounds 3 ounces and was 25 inches long.  I can't believe how big she is already!  For the most part she was very pleasant at the doctor's office.  She even gave the doctor a smile as she pressed on her herniated belly button to feel for the size of the defect.  However, the minute the doctor flipped JoJo onto her belly all hell broke loose.  JoJo was so desperate to escape the clutches of her perceived enemy that she was doing a commando crawl across the examination bed.  Of course this didn't help her in any way but the rest of us got a good laugh at her expense.  JoJo has also started reaching for toys and using her little fists to bat at them which is fun to watch.

Alex definitely loves her little sister though she can be jealous of her at times.  For the most part though Alex makes sure JoJo gets kisses all of the time and has even started to play with her a little more...though this mostly involves lying down next to her or sitting next to her since JoJo is still kind of just a little blob of a person.  It will be an exciting day when the two girls can play together.  JoJo is also very interested in Alex and watches most everything she does with great curiosity.  About a month ago I noticed JoJo noticing Alex for the first time which was so cute.  She just looked up at her smiling as if to say "Hey!  I recognize you!"

That's it for now.  I just wanted to give a little update on Miss Josephine.  She's blossoming into the happiest baby who is even letting us sleep, God bless her.