Seriously?

Now that we’ve had one child the question as to when we’re having a second is being asked more and more to which I must reply, “Are you people ever satisfied?!” Alex is barely three months old and it seems others are eager for her to become a big sister.

I can’t say that Marcus and I haven’t talked about having another but while he’s 100% gung-ho to go now (that can be read in more than one way) I am a little bi-polar on the subject. There are times when I know that Alex deserves a little playmate and someone to share her life with. There are also times when I wonder how could I possibly have any more to give to another baby? It doesn’t seem fair to Alex to take away all of my attention and love. Then there are the times when I think back to the more physical aspects. I really did not enjoy being pregnant and it wasn’t because it was a difficult pregnancy. I just did not enjoy being pregnant and what came with it: The sickly feeling at the beginning, the bulging belly, the strange sensations from the kicks and hiccups, and need I mention the bathroom issues? None of those things made me excited or giddy and to this day I want to punch the woman who says she loved every aspect of her pregnancy including the getting sick part. Really? So when you were dry heaving into the toilet bowl you were laughing and giggling the whole time exclaiming “I love this!” There are two things at play here: 1. The nostalgia for having a baby is skewing your memory. 2. You’re bat-shit crazy. I digress.

The fact of the matter is while another child is definitely in the future for us I need to become one of the women I despise in order to go through it again. With that being said does anyone have any suggestions on how I can drive myself bat-shit crazy because that’s the only way this is happening.