Back to feeling like a failure. Jo's temper tantrums have escalated and my own as well. I feel bad for myself, for Jo, and for Alex who is witness to the almost daily battles. I know as the moment progresses and Jo continues down her path of not listening and continual screaming and kicking that it will go one of two ways: I will be successful or I will cross-over and tantrum along with her. 95% of the time it is the former and 100% of that time I fall into a mother induced depression as I know my actions are affecting all.
Currently, Jo is asleep in the bed that she tore apart after a 45 minute battle that began when I asked her to return an item she had taken from her sister. Until she kicked me in the groin I was able to more or less hold it together. At that point I screamed, she screamed, and Alex went downstairs to escape.
I am pissed. I am pissed because I don't know what to do for Jo. I am pissed because I know my actions are inappropriate for helping her. I am pissed because I will be judged for this behavior of mine. I am pissed because no matter how successful I feel one day I take a giant leap back the next.
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