Out of a nutshell we were over prepared yet under prepared all at the same time. This year Marcus decided we would be “that” house, the house that hands out full-sized candy bars. Last year we had maybe a dozen kids show up so, with a BJ’s membership, purchasing a dozen or so large candy bars wasn’t too big of an expense. Marcus also thought it would be a good idea to buy a bag of miniature sized candy bars “just in case.” Despite the fact I knew it was overkill I acquiesced because let’s be honest, it’s not every day Marcus willingly buys extraneous items. With that being said I’ll give you two guesses what we have sitting in a giant, orange bowl a week and half later. If you guessed almost an entire bag of miniature candy bars and roughly one dozen, full-sized candy bars you would be correct.
The area we were under prepared for was in the decision to dress-up Alex or not. In the back of my mind I knew I would regret it if we didn't dress her up. However, and here’s where I channeled Marcus, I just could not fathom paying almost $20 for a costume she would wear once and for a grand total of one hour. As my efforts to be cheap persisted the costumes continued to sell until it became clear we were not purchasing a Halloween costume. Finally, three days before the big event, I took my girlfriend up on her offer to let us borrow her eldest daughter’s old Halloween costume (pictured below). I’m not entirely sure if she’s a baby chick or a baby duck. Judging by the beak she’s a chick but judging by the tail (not pictured) she’s a duck. The only thing that’s for certain is she’s absolutely adorable.
On the day of Halloween, Marcus and I rushed home and prepared for the trick-or-treaters. We lit the candle in our pumpkin, put the large bowl of candy near the front door and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. As night began to fall and not one, single trick-or-treater arrived at our doorstep we decided to dress Alex in her costume and bring her over to our neighbors. Here’s a little-known, fun fact about Miss Alex: She hates being dressed. Judging by the tears I would guess getting dressed for her is as much fun as it is for an adult to get a root canal. So, you can only imagine what it was like getting her into a Halloween costume. A mere 15 minutes and shot of vodka (for mommy) later she was finally ready for her first trick-or-treat. We arrived next door just as our neighbor was getting her pumpkins ready. She saw us coming and quickly ran inside to prepare for our grand arrival. We walked up the steps, giddy with anticipation, and loudly proclaimed “Trick-or-treat!” The door flung open to “ohs” and “ahs,” everyone smiling broadly as Alex made her grand entrance. Everyone smiling broadly, that is, except for Alex. She was unimpressed. It would appear that Halloween is a juvenile holiday far beneath her discerning taste for high-brow National Geographic articles and a fine brandy.
After a few minutes of chit-chat, picture taking, and Alex drooling on a wrapped Reese's Peanut Butter Cup we decided to head home and hope for at least one trick-or-treater. Our wish was granted as we walked up the sidewalk followed closely by our first guest of the night. Unfortunately, he was…how shall I put this…not exactly what I had in mind when it comes to traditional trick-or-treaters, i.e. children. While legally he was a child I don’t think technically he should have been trick-or-treating. He was roughly 16 years old, 200 pounds, and wearing no costume to speak of except a hockey mask as he stood at our front door expecting the goods with nary a word spoken. *sigh* Marcus held the bowl of candy out to the “trick-or-treater” only to find himself admonishing the teen for attempting to take two, large candy bars. “Seriously, dude?” were the words that came out of our mouths. He departed without a thank you and we were left feeling dejected that our excitement over Halloween had culminated in a hockey mask-wearing, overweight teenager attempting to rob us of our coveted, full-sized candy bars.
After the hockey masked avenger left, the doorbell rang a few more times and each time we were greeted by a group of teenagers. I guess our idea to be “that” house completely back-fired. Instead of bringing more (heck, any) adorable children who were just beginning to grasp the concept of Halloween to our door, our plan brought less-than-adorable teenagers who questionably should have been trick-or-treating.
The time during which we spent answering the door we also Skyped with Alex’s grandma and grandpa in New Jersey. It was during this time that Alex did a trick of her own; she crawled for the very first time and directly towards the computer screen. The night’s disappointments quickly faded away as did our ability to be lazy parents and sit on a couch while Alex played on the floor, mostly immobile.On the bright side if I haven’t lost that last 5 pregnancy pounds yet I have a feeling I will be very, very soon provided I don’t continue to hit-up the Halloween candy bowl.
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| Disregard the rotting pumpkin and focus on the cuteness that is the baby chick-duck |
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