Ultrasound

Monday was our 21-week ultrasound where we had the chance to get a sneak-peek of the baby.  It's really amazing the clarity with which you can see things...at one point the lips and nose were so visible I'm pretty sure the baby is going to look like Marcus.  The technician did a very good job of not letting on to what the sex is so we're still oblivious and at this stage will be until the baby is born.  All in all the baby appears to be the epitome of health and was kicking and punching the whole time the ultrasound was being performed.  At this stage it's cute...give it another month when the baby is bigger and it might not be as much fun.  Currently, the baby's weight is 14 oz. and I don't think we got a length but according to what I read it's about the length of a banana.  So, that's all.  I apologize for not posting something funny.  I actually went to bed last night with a great subject for my next post but I've since forgotten what that would be.  Hopefully I'll remember soon.

For your viewing pleasure here are two pictures of Baby T:

Baby T Doing Aerobics; Note the Leg Up Near the Head

I Know I'm Biased But This Is THE Cutest Picture, Ever

Lasagna (The Cat Not The Food)

I’m going to take a little break from baby chat and talk about my other baby, Lasagna (you thought I was going to talk about Marcus, didn’t you?). She’s our 1 year old cat who came into our lives shortly after we married. How she came into our lives isn’t much of a story though it basically involved me calling Marcus’s bluff and actually proceeding with getting a kitten. For ages I had begged Marcus for a puppy or a kitten…life just wasn’t complete without a furry body to snuggle. Marcus relented, though only a little, when he said I could get a kitten after we married. So, about a month after we married I began searching through Craigslist looking for just the right kitten. I don’t know what drew me to Lasagna other than she was tiny and fluffy and looked rather pathetic and just dying to be adopted. There was also a catch to my getting a pet which was that I would be the sole provider while Marcus could simply bask in the joys of being a pet owner. This came back to bite him in the butt when I got pregnant and he was thus on kitty-litter box duty for the next nine months.

In my attempt to turn Lasagna into the kind of cat I dreamed of, the kind of cat that sits for hours on your lap and rubs affectionately against your legs, it is my belief that I over-loved her as a kitten. I loved her so much that as she grew she began to reject me and turn towards Marcus. As it is Marcus is of the “take her or leave her” mentality which probably prompted her to turn towards him even more; she had to work for his love and by golly she did her best! So now, a year later, we have a cat who could care less for me (other than when I forget to feed her), and who adores Marcus so much it’s sickening.

Case in point: Marcus is currently on travel in Japan. He’s been gone for a week now and it’s just been Lasagna and me hanging out, kicking back, and painting each other’s toenails. Or, it’s the complete opposite. Usually when Marcus is home Lasagna sleeps on the bed with us. You can typically find her curled up next to him. Occasionally I wake-up to find her next to me but I suspect Marcus puts her there to make me feel better. Now, with Marcus gone, Lasagna does not even try to sleep on the bed and if she is it’s on his side at the very corner of the foot of the bed. In other words: As far away from me as possible.

I’ve also noticed she’s grown a little paunchier as time goes by. Being a housecat probably compounds to any sort of weight gain but she has certainly filled-out over the last few months. I have two theories other than her simply being a lazy housecat: 1. She’s been overeating to drown her sorrows because her beloved isn’t around and she doesn’t know why or, 2. Unwittingly she’s packing on the sympathy pounds. Either way the fluff of a fat belly is hard to resist and it takes much self-control (of which I'm greatly lacking) to not pick her up and snuggle my face into the deliciousness. This of course has nothing to do with her continued hatred towards me. Nothing at all. It also has nothing to do with the picture below...

I can haz dignity back?

Feelings

Question:  If someone (anyone) asks how I'm feeling is it an acceptable answer to say "Scared shitless?"  Because that would pretty much sum up exactly how I'm feeling.  In two words it would say "Physically, I'm feeling fine, mentally, I'm about to poop in my pants."

Maternity Clothes - Hate Them Or REALLY Hate Them? The Jury Is Still Out

As I am a female it should come as no surprise to you that shopping is like breathing for me; it must occur in order for me to survive.  I thrive off of shopping as it fulfills my soul in ways other things can’t.  I take great pleasure in searching for just the right shoe (boots, heels, flats, you name it, I don’t discriminate) and Lord help me when a purse comes along that I don’t have (to be honest, every lady needs a ruffle purse in a neutral tone.  It’s classy and smart because it goes with everything...and no, that line doesn’t work well with the husband).  Shopping is also a source of stress release for me.  I might not even realize I’m feeling stressed until I get an overwhelming urge to spend money.  When the urge hits and I realize I’m stressed I head out to my tried and true pick-me-uppers and later, after a few hours of browsing and debit card abuse, it’s like a weight has been lifted.

I have not, however, ever been stressed-out about actually going shopping (Christmas shopping doesn’t count).  That changed yesterday when it became apparent that I was in dire need of maternity pants for work.  I still don't have a discernable bump and my fat girl pants still fit, though they are getting rather snug.  It will only be a matter of a week or two before maternity pants are a must.  I’d already bought two pairs of jeans online, and sent them both back, so it seemed the only logical thing to do would be to physically go to a store.  After a few hours of moping around the house, and unsuccessful attempts to try and guilt-trip the husband into going with me (even though I knew he would much rather be watching a football game with buddies), I finally managed to make it out of the house.  As I got in the car tears welled up in my eyes.  The typical pre-shop high was definitely missing.  To try and soothe my mind I stopped at Yankee Candle.  They were having a 50% off sale and I just knew my favorite scent would be on sale (Macintosh Spice, in case you’re curious).  Indeed they had my scent on sale and then some!  It goes without saying that Yankee Candle helped fight back the tears.

I made my way to the mall and parked and as I walked into the mall it occurred to me that maybe today was not such a great day for shopping at all.  A million children and their parents had also gone to the mall for Halloween festivities.  If one thing makes going to the mall an even more exciting occasion it’s a million clueless parents and their equally clueless children not paying any attention to anything other than themselves.  I walked as quickly as possible and in an attempt to get out of the crowds, and delay what was to come, I headed into NY & Co.  Admittedly, if one is to be pregnant now is a great time.  Tunics and leggings are all the rage and to be perfectly honest, if I could wear that same exact outfit every single day for the next 5 months I would.  In the end, and since I had a coupon thus deeming it irresponsible to not use it, I purchased a few tops that will hopefully make it through the pregnancy.

Finally, the inevitable was upon me.  I made my way through the throngs of trick-or-treaters and walked into Motherhood Maternity.  I didn’t immediately burst into tears as I suspected I might and my heart didn’t give out as I walked-in.  In fact, my newly self-diagnosed anxiety-induced asthma didn’t act up.  It was a very normal experience walking in.  The sales rep pointed me in the direction of the work appropriate pants and gave me some quick advice on what was what and left me to it.  I grabbed four pairs of pants and went into the dressing room which seemed to me to be a joke.  Their location alone wasn’t very private (no separate hallway off the store) and of all things the only “door” offered is a heavy curtain that in no way latches shut.  I suppose when they say that by the end of a pregnancy you’ve lost all sense of modesty they really mean it…and Motherhood Maternity is banking on that.  Naturally, the curtain doesn’t work very well especially when the only other woman who is in the store with her brood of 5 isn’t paying much attention as her young daughter throws back all of the dressing room curtains, including mine.  She was busy chit-chatting with the sales rep so it’s cool; I totally get it.  Mommy time is mommy time after all.  Everyone else can watch her kids.

In the end I walked out of the store with three new pairs of pants.  They all fit relatively well and other than the giant panel of stretchy material where my belly is they look normal.  As I left I asked the sales rep if there were any other stores that carried a maternity line.  She mentioned Target and Kohl’s.  To applaud myself for a job well done I ended up going to Target to see what they had.  Maybe she misunderstood me when I asked about maternity lines.  I must have needed to be more specific and asked if there are any other stores that carried more than one rack of maternity clothing.  OK.  Maybe I'm being mean.  They had about 4 racks of maternity clothing.  Not exactly a large selection.  As much as I love Target their giant red sign that reads “maternity” is horribly deceiving.  Also, might I add, placing the maternity “line” next to the plus size clothing does not help a pregnant woman’s already struggling body image issues.  And yes, I know, a pregnant woman is gaining weight because she’s pregnant so she shouldn’t have the same body issues a woman who struggles with her weight on a daily basis does.  In short, that’s just not true.  Besides, product placement is important and placing maternity clothing next to plus sized clothing is what’s called “poor product placement.”  One can even reverse my argument by saying that a woman who needs plus size clothing doesn’t want to inadvertently pick-up a piece of maternity clothing thus making her feel worse about herself.  It works both ways.

Well, as you can tell maternity clothing is quite a matter of contention with me right now.  In the end I’m still not sure if I’m ever going to enjoy wearing these clothes.  I’m sitting here right now in a pair of my new pants and while I can say that I’m more comfortable than I’ve been for a few weeks I’m constantly reminded of the fact they are maternity pants.  It could be the giant panel of fabric that reaches just shy of my breasts.  Or maybe it’s the “diaper butt,” bunched-up waist.  I can’t quite put my finger on just one hideous aspect.  What I do know is the house is probably going to be smelling and looking* a lot nicer since those items don’t have a “maternity” label on them.

*P.S. I may have neglected to mention my jaunt through the Target home goods section followed by a trip to Pier One.  What?  I had a coupon for 20% off!

Grievances

There are some things pregnant women claim during their pregnancy that I just can't help but roll my eyes at.  Actually, scratch that.  There are a lot of things pregnant women claim that I roll my eyes at.  Clumsiness, “baby brain,” and “the baby doesn’t like that food” are at the top of my list.

If I trip over the sidewalk because a tree root has started pushing up the concrete it's not because I'm pregnant and hence have a propensity to be clumsy.  It's because I wasn't paying attention and, as is usual, was shuffling my feet and tripped.  If I almost drop a box it's not because the little entity growing inside of me willed it so it's because I almost flat-out dropped the box.  Especially at this stage in pregnancy where my belly is almost as flat as the day I found out I was pregnant there really is no merit in claiming the baby is making my clumsy.  The only way I can concede that this excuse will work is when the belly is protruding farther than it ever has before and at that time it’s more of a getting used to it factor and less of the “baby did it.”

The so called "baby brain" is another pet peeve.  Please, accept the fact that you can't remember something whether it's a word or what the very last topic of conversation you were just having.  The baby is not controlling you.  Though the baby is essentially a little parasite growing inside your body it is not a little man controlling your very thoughts and emotions.

If a pregnant woman eats something that later disagrees with her it's not because the baby didn't like it.  Considering the jury is still out as to when a fetus gains consciousness it's highly doubtful that the fetus has developed a sense of taste.  A fetus cannot tell the difference between a gourmet meal or a Domino’s pizza.  Now, a woman’s body might reject a certain type of food.  Let’s be honest, if you're eating a spicy dish for the first time in your life it's probably not going to sit well, man or woman, pregnant or not pregnant.  It happens.

While I find pregnant women endearing they are annoying all at the same time.  Yes, it is amazing what a woman goes through to produce a miniature version of herself and her partner but let's stop placing the blame on a being that is roughly the size of your hand and weighs as much as a feather.  There will be plenty of time for that later.

Quick Update

I realized it's been almost 20 days since my last post so I just wanted to write something quickly before sitting down and writing something a little more meaningful.

Marcus and I went to the lastest doctor's appointment together on 19 October.  It was a very quick and routine check-up (peeing in a cup...which I have determined will be on the agenda for the next 5 months, weight...no weight gain, and blood letting). We heard the heartbeat (Marcus hearing it for the first time) accompanied with baby kicks (that's when his eyes got really big).  In my mind I pictured a baby doing karate chops and high kicks for such was the sound...*swish, hiyah!*  We set-up our 20 week ultrasound date for mid-November though it was tough because Marcus will be in Japan for about 10 days.  This is a big one that we don't want him to miss so we'll be going right after he gets home.  With any luck the baby will keep his or her legs closed.

Clothes are starting to not fit as well and all I really want to wear are leggings with baggy sweatshirts.  I'm at that stage where I look more plump than usual as opposed to a full-on baby bump...so, that's a drag especially with Halloween this Saturday.  Much to Marcus' chagrin I will not be dressing in the customary slutty costume this year and he'll be lucky if I can pull it off next year.

Which leads me to my next topic of discussion for another post:  Maternity clothes.  Hate them or really hate them?  I'll be the judge.

A List Of Things I Will Not Do

Therefore, Marcus will have to take over the following:

1.  Take a baby's temperature rectally.
2.  If the baby is a boy and he is circumcised I do believe it will be Marcus' job to take care of that area.  He's most familiar with it anyway.
3.  Anything to do with scabs or things falling off, i.e. umbilical cord "stumps" and aforementioned circumcised scabs.
4.  Trimming of the baby's fingernails.  There will be plenty of time in the future for me to make the baby cry.  Let’s allow Marcus to have a shot first.
5.  Sucking stuff out of anywhere, be it nostrils, throats, etc.  (Updated 21-OCT-2010)
6.  Changing diapers that are oozing.  (Updated 21-OCT-2010)
7.  Cleaning-up vomit unless of course I want to clean up my own vomit also.  (Updated 21-OCT-2010)

*Again, this is an on-going list.  As I learn of other less-than-desirable aspects of caring for a baby I will add to it.